I am a lawyer coach who specializes in helping professionals deal with attorney fatigue, lawyer burnout and lawyer depression.
How to Deal with Someone Who Blames You for Everything
Just because someone wants to blame you for everything doesn’t make you a bad person. They are just trying to make you responsible for their life. This is your opportunity to help them take responsibility for their life.
Whenever I meet people who blame me for their life, I feel gratitude for the opportunity to exercise compassion. Above all, these men and women have decided to be a victim in life and refuse to accept responsibility for their own life decisions.
In general, people choosing to be victims are stuck in their suffering. As a result, they are unwilling to find a way to empower themselves. Expressing compassion is the ability to feel what others feel and motivate them to end their suffering.
Two Possible Paths for Helping Others and Protecting Yourself
When people blame me for their suffering, there are two issues that arise. The first is how to respond to their accusations and the second is how to feel about it. These issues are both easily resolved.
First, simply say to your accuser “I am sorry that you feel that way.” You don’t have to accept blame or agree that you have done anything wrong. You can simply recognize how they are feeling and let them know that you understand their feelings. Therefore, nothing more has to be done by you.
Secondly, the issue is resolved by remembering that how other people feel about you is none of your business. You can examine your actions and behavior. And if you are satisfied with your actions, let it go.
Just because someone wants to make you responsible for their life doesn’t make you a bad person. This is your opportunity to help them take responsibility for their life.
It Is Not Your Job to Make Other People Happy or Successful
If we are parents, we have the responsibility to teach our children to do that for themselves. Otherwise, we do not have to keep rescuing them from their decisions.
The same goes for others. If we make ourselves feel bad because other people feel bad, that is co-dependence and, and that is unhealthy.
In conclusion, we have an opportunity to be an example for others on how to deal with adversity. Suffering can be contagious if we let it.